TO INTRODUCE YOUR BABY (TODDLER, CHILDREN) TO YOUR DOG
DO YOU LOVE AND TRUST
YOUR DOG...
Has your dog ever showed any signs of anxious aggressive-reactivity?
If
the answer is no than you have nothing to worry about - you just need some help
in understanding dogs a little - which I will provide you with below.
Having said that the
biggest mistake people make is being nervous, anxious, fearful or
expecting/anticipating problems.
I am going to give
you a few articles to read. Please read them as it is critical that you
understand how dogs communicate and how we unintentionally communicate to them.
And below I am going to coach you on introducing your dog and baby in more
detail. Also, the same methodology can and should be used when introducing your
new dog to your toddler, or older children.
Here are the articles
and then I will continue with an explanation below. You can either read them now or continue on and read them after - but to read them is a must!
When my daughter was a toddler strangers would criticize me for
leaving her in the car with Shanny (my first German Shepherd x Malamute) while
I stepped into the pizza place to pick up the pizza I had called ahead to
order. Shanny would have done anything and everything she could to protect my
daughter if the need ever arose. Shanny would never have harmed her - I had
nurtured Shanny's balanced state of being and enabled the best attributes of a
dog. I had respected her as a dog and as a non-human person. I had every reason
to trust in Shanny. Not only did Shanny never let me down, but she often
astonished me with her kindness, instinct, intuition and great intelligence.
STEP ONE OF THE INTRODUCTION
When I was in the
hospital, having just delivered my daughter into this world, I took one of the
little hats that she wore on that first day and gave it to my Mom to take home
(while I was still at the hospital) so Shanny could meet my daughter for the
first time - not in actual physical presence - but instead by her scent on the
little knitted hat. This is of great
importance to the dog - it should be allowed to meet the baby by scent
first. (If you are introducing your new dog to children rather
than baby, you can skip this step!).
Now I would have had no trepidation about my Daughter and Shanny meeting in physical
presence first, but because I was still at the hospital, I wanted to send Shanny
something to let her know what was going on. If you can do this first it is a
wonderful way to start.
Why the nose
first...well please read this to
understand...
THE BIGGEST MISTAKE
PEOPLE MAKE with babies, children and dogs
I end up with quite a
few clients who retain me to help because their dog has become child reactive. This
is so easily avoidable. So let’s make sure you don't accidentally
create this situation.
How does this type of behaviour start?
When parents are nervous of their child being around a dog, the dog learns that when children are near, people are nervous, anxious and/or fearful. Dogs look to their humans for guidance. If you're uncomfortable it tells your dog that she should be uncomfortable too. So your dog learns to associate children with tension and fear. Eventually this ongoing state of anxiety can develop into an anxious-aggressive reaction. In the absence of supportive guidance the adverse behavior is likely to be repeated and can escalate.
When parents are nervous of their child being around a dog, the dog learns that when children are near, people are nervous, anxious and/or fearful. Dogs look to their humans for guidance. If you're uncomfortable it tells your dog that she should be uncomfortable too. So your dog learns to associate children with tension and fear. Eventually this ongoing state of anxiety can develop into an anxious-aggressive reaction. In the absence of supportive guidance the adverse behavior is likely to be repeated and can escalate.
STEP TWO OF THE INTRODUCTION
Make sure you are not
tense, stressed or anticipating reactive behaviour (what you probably think of as aggression)
from your dog.
Your dog has absolutely no reason to be aggressive - unless you create the aggression!
To lead by example be mindful. Be grounded, have confidence in yourself and in your dog. . If your thoughts and body language are grounded and confident you are communicating to your dog that you are confident with the situation - this allows your dog to relax and normalize the experience of meeting your baby. Dogs are naturally good with children and babies.
Your dog has absolutely no reason to be aggressive - unless you create the aggression!
To lead by example be mindful. Be grounded, have confidence in yourself and in your dog. . If your thoughts and body language are grounded and confident you are communicating to your dog that you are confident with the situation - this allows your dog to relax and normalize the experience of meeting your baby. Dogs are naturally good with children and babies.
Encourage your dog
to use her noise to gently greet your baby. Over-excited greeting behaviors are not a dog's natural way to engage - it's a behavior we inadvertently create in our dogs.
RELAX AND ENJOY THIS
BEAUTIFUL MEETING - by doing so you will make it what it should be.
Train yourself to control your thoughts, your emotion and direct your focus. Only then can you properly support your dog. Remember you communicate with your state-of-mind, and hence your body…not just by the words or tone you use to speak.
Train yourself to control your thoughts, your emotion and direct your focus. Only then can you properly support your dog. Remember you communicate with your state-of-mind, and hence your body…not just by the words or tone you use to speak.
If your dog is to eager or pushy direct your dog to be gentle. If your dog places
his paws
on your baby with a little too much energy or wants to lick your baby’s face too
much...
Touch your dog to get her attention and say 'no' and then say 'gentle'. Direct your dog in a grounded mindful manner - be that thing you want your dog to be. It is really simple - the energy behind what you do is everything and has an immense impact on creating a positive, normal, happy greeting and future relationship!
Touch your dog to get her attention and say 'no' and then say 'gentle'. Direct your dog in a grounded mindful manner - be that thing you want your dog to be. It is really simple - the energy behind what you do is everything and has an immense impact on creating a positive, normal, happy greeting and future relationship!
This meeting should be
enjoyed, it should be beautiful - and not infused with stress, tension and
nightmare scenarios in your mind. Remember it is the human who creates the situation
good and bad!
I have had to
rehabilitate many dogs who have become aggressive to children simply because
the dog did not receive the guidance she needed to be comfortable. Dogs are
highly intelligent, sensitive beings.
Article and graphics by Karen Rosenfeld.
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